We're all brought up to share and share alike - but are modern mums taking sharing too far? New research reveals young mums under 35 are a whopping five times more to likely discuss intimate parenting and birth issue than their own mothers were.
Among the subjects, young mums are happy to share include the best sex positions to conceive in, whether to wax or shave for birth and even how their vaginas have changed after having children.
For the many of the older generation, this is seen as a step too far, with a third of grans thinking modern mums ‘share way too much’. But as the editor of a parenting site, I see how very valuable this so-called ‘oversharing’ really is. With 91 per cent of young mums happy to share their most personal thoughts and problems, I believe having ‘no filter’ is a good thing and is even improving mums’ mental health.
In the past, conception, pregnancy and birth were seen as almost shameful and certainly not something to discuss. In the words of one 96-year-old I spoke to this week ‘you just had your baby and got on with it’. But who knows how many mums from the past were left to struggle, masking tears, fears and even post-natal illness, as they weren’t allowed to speak out?
I strongly believe sharing - which is just another word for supporting each other and being honest - is something positive, not something we should be keeping quiet.
Whether you share with friends online, in real life or both, you’re helping to break down barriers, end taboos and ensure all of us are better equipped to cope with the rollercoaster ride of becoming a mum.
Without ‘over-sharing’, all we have to go on are sanitised, expert versions of what parenting should be like. We all know this isn’t reality, and sharing lets mums find out the truth not the ‘textbook.’
We also all know motherhood doesn’t always go to plan, so being able to show and talk about when things aren't quite what we'd expected helps mums to be prepared.
Hearing another mum 'oversharing' is very helpful. For example, you might poo or throw up in in labour. While finding out that fact isn’t great, it helps you and your partner prepare and know it’s normal if it does happen.
And the more we talk about the tough stuff - from infertility to miscarriage to abuse and mental health - the stronger we become in dealing with it.
I’ve seen these countess times, with our miscarriage videos being some of the most-watched on the site as they give comfort and hope to other mums grieving and going through the same process. Is it personal? Absolutely. But is it oversharing to talk about a life-changing event and ask for some support? No, it’s simply human nature to reach out to ask for help.
Our motto at ChannelMum.com is ‘You Are Not Alone’ and mums need to know whatever they are going through, someone else has experienced the same and is there to support them. The old adage is ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ so by sharing everything that means, we can build a better, more open and more honest world which both children and parents deserve.
