"You deceived me, it's you who gave it to me?"

The suspicion, the doubt, the jealousy, the aggressiveness are at the rendezvous while you remained wise like a dove on the beach, and your companion ditto.

" Most of the germs transmitted through sexual contact may have been transferred weeks, months, or years before and come late ," says Dr. Sylvain Mimoun, a gynecologist at Robert Debré Hospital in Paris, and co-author of "Sex and Feelings" (Ed .: Albin Michel) This is the case of two sexually transmitted infections (STIs): genital herpes , which can evolve for years with low noise, and papillomaviruses , sometimes encountered early in life. his sex life.

The latter trigger in women precancerous lesions ten or twenty years later. If the doctor does not explain and does not relativize the situation, the faithful woman may think that her companion has infected her, and he can imagine that his partner has had extra-marital relations. While she was already carrying the virus without knowing it. "

Conclusion: It is quite risky to engage in police investigations to know who, when and how.

Genital herpes, an STI that hides its game well

It is announced by tingling, burning, blistering and itching : signs that should prompt you to consult without delay. They are followed by sometimes sharp local pains, and redness, vesicles, then by the appearance of crusts.

"In women, 50 to 60% of herpes are not diagnosed despite the presence of lesions, says Dr. Jean-Marc Bohbot, Director of IST at the Alfred-Fournier Institute in Paris. mycosis or a simple irritation, either because the patient can not get an appointment early enough at her gynecologist.The push lasts four or five days, lesions heal alone. nothing."

In humans, the lesions can be located at the level of the penis, under the hair of the pubis, sometimes on the testicles. They are also misleading and may suggest an innocent button. The lesion is sometimes completely absent and the partner is therefore carrying the virus without knowing it. But the latter, even invisible, retains its power of contagion.

As a result, you can have genital herpes while your partner has never had a seizure.

In case of visible lesions, the condom protects only what it covers , so it remains unfortunately without effect in outlying situations. The contamination will occur, unless you practice love in a suit or can easily apply a protective plaster. The Americans, rather radical on the question, recommend the heavy artillery: gloves for any masturbation if the herpes is located at the level of the fingers, a transparent food film to be positioned between the lips for the bucco-genital reports in case of button fever on the mouth or on the sex, a condom if the lesion is on the penis, a bandage if it is in a covered area. Notice to the amateurs!

"One thing is certain: the more flare-ups, the more contagious it is ," warns Dr. Bohbot, "A woman or a man who triggers one or two seizures a year is contagious only at the precise moment of these seizures. to avoid reports of crunches or condoms, but a person who reports more than six annual attacks is potentially infectious all the time , because the virus is excreted in its genital fluids in a totally invisible way .

Treatment: one tablet a day of Valaciclovir for several months. It makes it possible to make the outbreaks disappear and to limit very strongly the contagion. "Obviously, if both partners already have herpes (diagnosed with a blood test), these precautions become useless."

Papillomaviruses, lesions that can appear after decades

Papillomaviruses can cause two types of lesions, either deep, in the cervix, or superficial, in the form of warts also called "rooster crests".

The first can become cancerous, the second are always benign. But in both cases, the risk of contagion is immense and manifestations can occur years or even decades after infection.

As Dr. Bohbot notes, "it is never a pleasure to see the previous lover arise in the form of lesions, even if it reassures the faithfulness of his partner."

These lesions must be eliminated in both partners, even if they are benign .

That the men reassure themselves if they are touched: generally, when one speaks about peniscopie to highlight possible damages, they imagine that one will introduce them an instrument in the penis, and here they are already on the edge of discomfort. In reality, it is simply a matter of brushing their sex with a little acetic acid (diluted vinegar) and looking at the magnifying glass for the presence of suspicious spots. If he has lesions, the doctor will destroy them in order to protect their partner or to avoid re-contaminating him if he has already been treated.

"Unfortunately, in women, the removal of lesions is not an insurance risk, says Jean-Marc Bohbot.The virus may persist for months or years after a laser treatment perfectly executed, and resurface without further contamination."

So, again, it's useless to go and blame the other. The concern may come from oneself!