All men dream of wandering on Charlize Theron's arm. That of the ad of J'adore perfume of Dior. A dream body, sensual, golden, sublime. What did she really look like at 20? Since then, has she resorted to cosmetic surgery? Has she liposized her gorgeous hips with amphora curves? Or simply laser correct some fine lines at the corner of his eyes ember . They do not care. Or rather, they do not want to know it. All studies reveal that men are not opposed to cosmetic surgery. They do not see any harm until it is clear.

The problem is that we do not forget. Our brain keeps in mind the reflections on our big nose before and our complexes, soaring the morning when we finally woke up with the profile of Louise Bourgoin. But what fighting, hesitation, retreat and energy spent before feeling "beautiful" in front of the ice for the first time, with a desirable body for a man! The use of the scalpel is a long story. It involves innumerable questions: the construction of the image of oneself but also feelings of usurpation which, strangely, are exacerbated when a lover declares us in a burning breath: "I have never seen a girl as hot as you. "

"How to tell him that he was attracted by an artifice?"

Céline is a drug addict of cosmetic surgery. At the age of 35, she has already had her breasts raised, nose planes, tattooed her eyebrows and removed the fat from the knees, which she considered too big ... Unimaginable how very sweet this girl doubts its charm! Whenever she is operated on, she goes with the crazy hope and constantly disappointed to finally accept, to be loved by a man. She'd better lie on a psychiatrist's couch, but it's on billiards that she's going to look for happiness. His last obsession is his eyes. She has eyes of a beautiful warm brown, and one evening, before going out in box, she puts blue contact lenses. On the brown of its irises, the lenses make a spectacular lavender hue, drawing on the violet.

"At the bar, a very nice guy is dragging me all evening, bewitched by my eyes. He tells me that I have the most beautiful in the world, that he is already falling in love ... I go home totally panicked. I like the man, but how can I tell him that he has been attracted by an artifice, that I am not as beautiful as he thinks he is? He calls me the next day and invites me to dinner. I tell myself first that I will go without lenses, but I am so afraid of his disappointment that I do not dare. Paralyzed by an intense sense of deception but unable to take the risk of being rejected, she puts her violet eyes back and sinks into her lie: "I am attracted by this man but, at the same time, I blame him for to love at home something that does not exist. She spends a night with this new lover, terrified at the thought of losing her lenses in the heat of the moment. She anticipates grotesque situations, the man who wakes up and finds her on all fours looking for her little blue circles under the bed. She ends up breaking up.

Define the limits to truth and intimacy

For centuries women have been perceived as coquettish, seductive and deceptive, baiting the man with fake breasts, false asses, false teeth, hairpieces and patches of makeup. Today things are much more complicated. The time is both natural and profound change. With medicine and cosmetic surgery, we "photoshope" on the skin, even in the flesh. We do not take off her fake breasts, we carry them inside. Those who have "done something" have the choice to say it or not to say it and, far from being innocuous, this choice can color a love relationship, define the limits that one poses to the truth and to the privacy.

So Pauline ... She is 28 when she meets David. He is handsome, free of mind, intelligent and tender. He is a guy who loves women, we imagine with a baby in his arms. "We like a lot, we talk until dawn. But there is something that I do not tell him, because I have the intuition that it will not please him: at 20 I was flat like a dab, and I suffered a lot. "Motivated by the cosmetic surgery, a surgeon made him perfect breasts, very natural, not these balls of rugby in the" Desperate Housewives "which point outrageously under a sweater indented. "My beautiful breasts have changed my life. Except the night she makes love for the first time with David. "I'm afraid he's noticing something. I stiffen when he wants to touch me breasts. During dinner, he spoke to me with sarcastic silicone bimbos: "There will never be one in my bed," he said. "

She did not answer. "But my silence begins to haunt me. I feel that between me and me my breasts are barrier. It's a matter of trust, and mine is limited by the fear of disappointing him, of not matching the ideal image and nature he has of me. Curiously, over the days his fear turns into anger. It bursts, one evening where he whispers how much he likes to caress her breasts. "I call him a hypocrite, a fake. He does not like silicone sluts, well I'm one! And he did not even realize it. Who is he to judge these sluts! He is glad that I have pretty breasts, without knowing how much I invested to have them! I cry like a fountain. He takes me in his arms, apologizes, consoles me. This late revelation has made us even more in love. If I had not said anything, it would have poisoned everything ... "

"Those teeth that you love so much ... Well, it cost me the price of a studio"

Léa, 35, offered herself a new smile: "I've been severely anorexic for years, and I've got everything in my teeth. Some have even begun to fall. It was horrible. I spent a lot of money getting implanted. When I met the man of my life, he immediately flashed on these teeth glowing with whiteness and vitality. In the intoxication of this first evening, she smiled more, without thinking of telling the truth. "And this lie by omission really embarrassed me. If he had not told me anything, it would not have been a problem. But there, I had the impression to have cheated on the goods, to be like a fake Rolex. In addition, the mouth is totally linked to eroticism , kisses, not to mention the rest ... "Unable not to confess but also to tell him the truth, she decides to write him a letter Explanations: "These teeth that you love so much ... Well it cost me the price of a studio of 20 m ² , and I suffered to have them ..." His reaction? "He was surprised to see how much I had made a mountain of this revelation. "

Nurse, Laura could play in the American series "Nip / Tuck". A dancer's body she maintains by Pilates sessions. With her lovers, one night or one month, she never gets bogged down with these supposedly unadmissible secrets: "I had the big hunchback nose of my father, and I had it redone ten years ago . I think it's the smartest decision I've made in my life. My new nose is completely part of me, I even forgot the head that I had before. I have no feeling of lying or tricked image. I never felt the need to tell a lover that I was born with a big spike. Besides, it's the girls who see that my nose is redone, not the boys. So I do not talk about it, unless it comes on the carpet, when we look at old family photos for example. My current guy adores me, and it does not occur to me to wonder if he would have loved me with my old nose. I was confronted only once with a totally delirious reaction: a guy in a gym club, very beautiful and narcissistic, who spent hours inflating himself by looking at himself in the mirror. He had been vaguely copulated, until he told me that he would never make a child with a chick with a red nose, for fear that it would transmit the gene of the ugly pif to his offspring. I called him a pathetic, pathetic asshole, and I never spoke to him again. "

Confession or not ... this existential question is posed in a more subtle way when we live in a couple and we share for years the intimacy of the same man. Can not edit a printed image in the companion's gaze pretending to be always the same. Hard to miss a few days and come home with a 95D hat, a plaster on the nose or boxer eyes just throwing: "Honey, tonight, we would not be a Japanese restaurant? "

"It's out of the question for me to talk to my husband"

It is therefore only on minor interventions, practiced in aesthetic medicine, that the choice between transparency and silence is played out. For Marina, 48, all the devices she uses look at her, and especially not her husband. "As soon as I started having wrinkles, I used aesthetic medicine. Every four months or so, I get Botox and Radiesse injections. I think it's great. But it is out of the question that I speak to my husband. I do not do it for him but for me. He is very happy that I look rather young, and I will not tell him that I owe it to my doctor. She hates excess physical intimacy, does not speak of "deception", but just to preserve her "manufacturing secrets". There are limits to transparency. "When I'm getting a color , I'm waiting to be alone. I do not wander with a patouille on the head. "

Christine, a couple for twenty-three years, is indignant at the hypocrisy that reigns around the natural. "We're supposed to stay cool as long as we can, but we do not care about botoxed actresses. There is, at the same time, a prohibition of aging and a moral judgment around the techniques of rejuvenation. I have been injected for years, and I keep it for myself. During a session, my dermato proposed to make me in the lips. Leaving, I did not have a grouper's face but, still, the mouth much wider than usual. I returned the lips for two months, not that it shows! "

It is above all to oneself that one owes the truth

Nadège, in her fifties, married to a man a little younger than her, confesses simply that she does not know how to lie. "It's not a question of virtue, it's just that I do not master the technique of lying. The first time I injected, I went home with bruises on my face. My husband asked me what I had, and I explained it to him. I have friends who tell medical stuff, have cysts or rosacea removed. Me it does not come to my mind. Her "young" husband does not care. "He said to me, 'It's your head, you do what you want.' Besides, if he told her that she did not need it, she would do it anyway. And if he pushed her to do it? "I think I'll leave him on the spot! "

So, "how to say it? "Must we say it?   », There is obviously no instructions for use. Between Celine, devoured by worry, and exhibitionists who are operated live in reality shows, all attitudes are possible. If one is in agreement with one's image, if one is not obsessed with the fear of being rejected, silence as transparency is legitimate. It is to oneself that one owes the truth.