• 1- I do not go to a bakery

The food is like the clothes: you enter the shop ... And then you buy. Too bad to taste the children, they will only eat, uh ... apples. Go, ouste, the whole family on the diet! By the way, the supermarket, I go there more than leaving the table, when I'm not hungry at all.

  • 2- I do not go into a complicated diet

I do not go into a hyper-complicated diet like "Sino-Malagasy" or "all-raw" or "protein-gluten". The good old technique of the steam vegetable fish is sad, but it works best. I start slowly: diet only at dinner, rewarded with the key: a small gift that I open only if I did not crack.

  • 3- I cream my thighs

I cream my thighs. Several times a day. First, it's good for what I have: "holes in the buttocks", according to my 4 year old daughter. And then, it works like a booster shot.

  • 4- I book a holiday in the sun for January

I book a holiday in the sun for January on voyagespirates.fr. I explain to my husband that I am sorry but I really have no choice: only the prospect of having to put my swimsuit on in a few months can motivate me.

  • 5- I avoid going on holiday in gourmet places

I avoid going on vacation to places where one eats fat and / or well. Exit Italy and Spain. Next destination, Greece or like, Croatia: it seems that the food is unspeakable.

  • 6- I drink two glasses of water half an hour before every meal

I drink two glasses of water half an hour before every meal. It cuts the hunger. I do not drink a drop during meals (something from my grandmother). And I start smoking again. Ah, but, we can not have everything!

  • 7- I go to the green salad

I go to the green salad. It is unstoppable: it fills the belly. If the French are thinner than their neighbors, it is because they eat more raw vegetables. Mrs Racamier, a taxi driver in Brittany, lost 30 kg in 4 months by eating only green salad. Impressive. If she shaved under the arms, she would be beautiful, like a truck.

  • 8- I buy myself a sublime evening dress

I buy a sublime evening dress (or skirt, or pants, something related to the buttocks) very expensive and very tight size 40 (I currently oscillate between the 42 and the 44) that I do not try because I am not maso but I hang right in front of my bed.

  • 9- I take a picture and I stick it on the fridge

I take a nude photo and back and I stick it on the fridge and the cupboard cake (of course, as soon as I hear the door slam shut, I remove it, otherwise it is not pounds that I'm going to lose is my guy.)

  • 10- I think of the trainee at my husband's office

As soon as I feel that I'm about to crack for a coffee flash that makes me an eye while I'm walking down the street (in those moments, oddly, I'm not myopic at all) I think of the new Russian trainee at my husband's office doing 36 and saying "Hi! Laughing stupidly.